Thank you, Mr. Speaker. It is with heavy heart that I rise today ...
---Laughter
... to state, for the record, that the MLA Sharks were narrowly defeated by the media Ravens hockey team. Yes, Mr. Speaker, the unthinkable happened last Saturday evening in front of more than 100 spectators. The unsinkable MLA Sharks were benched 8-6 by the Ravens. We can take some consolation, however, in the fact that our very own Sheila MacPherson was named the media's most valuable player.
---Applause
---Laughter
Ms. MacPherson also had the distinction of collecting the first penalty of the game, a shameful fact that will probably get our lawyer disbarred. The Sharks can also take consolation in the fact that they played a good solid, and most importantly, Mr. Speaker, clean hockey game. Since I consider myself a good sport, Mr. Speaker, I will not accuse the media of cheating, although that we all know they did.
---Laughter
---Laughter
The Sharks were also disappointed when the Government Leader, Nellie "The Puck Stops Here" Cournoyea was arrested by the caribou cops just seconds after the game began, another shameful act, Mr. Speaker.
On the positive side, Mr. Speaker, we would like to thank the following MLAs for their fine performance: Titus "Beebop" Allooloo, Rebecca "You Are Lucky I Am The Minister Of Health" Mike, Richard "Madtrapper" Nerysoo, Henry "Zorro" Zoe, James "Lee Van Cleefe" Arvaluk, and Jim "The Lynx River Trapper" Antoine. I would also like to thank the Assembly staff and the deputy ministers who helped strengthen the Sharks' roster.
In closing, Mr. Speaker, I would like to apologize to the general manager, David "Scottie" Hamilton, on behalf of the Sharks for losing. I promise Mr. Hamilton that next year the road dog will be carrying our flag around the arena. By the way, Mr. Speaker, you will have to do a much better job at juggling the lines if you want to be a coach next year.
---Laughter